30 May, 2016

Crumpets & Cowpies by Shanna Hatfield

Length -  354 pages
Published -  January 15, 2015
Sold by -  Amazon
Genre -   Sweet Historical Western Romance
Series -  Baker City Brides Book 1
Language -  clean
Sexual Content -  0/5


Detestable! Arrogant! Insufferable!
He'd been called worse...
Rancher Thane Jordan reluctantly travels to England to settle his brother’s estate only to find he’s inherited much more than he could possibly have imagined.
Lady Jemma Bryan has no desire to spend a single minute in Thane Jordan’s intolerable presence much less live under the same roof with the handsome, arrogant American. Forced to choose between poverty or marriage to the man, she travels across an ocean and America to build a future on his ranch in Oregon.


It's as difficult to know where to begin with this review as it was for me to finish the novel.

I'd like to point out right away, though, that this received an award, and I'm darned if I know why.

Then I suppose I should admit to being at fault (again) for not paying closer attention to the additional details about the book prior to purchase.

Namely the Religious & Inspirational and Christian tags.

Dumb me.

I should also explain why I decided to review this novel with its 2-star rating after I said I wouldn't do such a thing.

It won an award.

This was so dry, repetitive, and predictable it isn't funny.

It wasn't even well written!

Lots of what I call rebound wording --

-- that drives this particular reader right up a wall.

As for its being an Historical, aside from the h behaving stuffy and boorish, this read more like a contemporary with hardly any dialogue that would indicate a genuine feel for the times.

In the redundant category, there was a lot of body sniffing going on; both good and bad smells, and with the same unimaginative wording for emotions, thought, and habit on both the H and h part.

Zero sexual content, a far-fetched plot, and plenty of ain't no way in HELL that'd ever happen regardless of the time period.

And, for those of you who like this kind of writing, don't assume because there is no sexual content that I'm not interested in reading the story because that's just not true.

Graphic scenes are just as difficult to read through as this story with its zero content.

This IS under the Romance category, yet the author chose to make the H behave more like a thoughtless jerk than a romantic hero (he treated the children far better than he did the h), and for the h to behave too well-bred and uppity for her station (they weren't even her children, but she self-sacrificed straight through for their benefit) -- message: independence means no men, no marriage, no dreams or desires.


Then there were the two children who received a majority of scene time, which (for me) is a huge turn-off -- especially when it's romance I'm seeking and assuming to be reading!

It went on and on and on and on with no logical excuse or reason, except for the author to drive home the fact that she knows little kids really well and can write them into nearly every scene.

But, why? Children and their childish tendencies is hardly what I'd consider to be the stuff of romance.

Personally, I didn't want to hear about or from them after their initial introduction back in England.

And, I've never been there, but I've studied the area enough to know -- and I doubt it'd require rocket science to figure out -- that OREGON is hardly a place to describe as being arid, desolate, treeless, and covered in tumbleweed.

At the very end of the story, Thane receives a letter from his late brother, which he'd written (obviously) prior to his death.  HOWEVER -- the letter 'explains' to Thane why he chose to write out his will the way he did, indicating his ability to foresee his own future since the man died not of an incurable illness but a freak fall from a horse.

The real disappointment came in that I thought this had promise (even if the Title is backwards, Cowpies & Crumpets is easier to say), but turned out to be a huge let-down instead.

There was no thrill of the chase, no adversity, no nemesis, no intrigue or angst to help me warm up to these two and their eventual joining.

I just didn't care.

Then again, Christian Romance will always be an oxymoron to my mind.


Crumpets and Cowpies (Book 1) - Rancher Thane Jordan is about it meet his match in the lovely Lady Jemma Bryan. Winner of the Readers' Favorite Silver Award in Christian Fiction
Thimbles and Thistles (Book 2) - Maggie Dalton doesn't need a man, especially not one as handsome as charming as Ian MacGregor.
Corsets and Cuffs (Book 3) - Sheriff Tully Barrett meets his match when a pampered woman comes to town, catching his eye and capturing his heart.

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