The guilt suffered at not being able to come up with unique and consistent blog content has compelled me to web surf for ideas -- again.
And, again, the well remains empty.
There was a list of topic ideas in a folder, but that list has mysteriously vanished.
My head is filled to the brim with story ideas and plot twists for my current WIP, but nothing comes to mind for this blog.
While searching for an interesting topic to discuss here, I came across a website that lists generators for everything a writer needs, including the perfect sales pitch (blurb).
These generators are not just silly time wasters but a lot of fun and easy to get addicted to for at least a half hour or so, which is what happened to me before arriving here.
Darla G. Denton's 35 Random Idea Generators for Writing a Romance Novel is the place, and the list of generators in this category is surprisingly extensive.
I fooled around with the Blurb generator for two of my novels, and this is what the generator came up with for Love Over Time
Which isn't even close to what the real story is about or even what these two leads look like, think like, or feel emotionally towards one another.
The key is to come up with the right key words in order for the generator to make perfect sense, and for me, this is too much like work (or coming up with my own, snappy blurb) and so I see this as a complete fail.
But, with a bit more effort on my part, and after getting the hang of how those key words actually end up in the generator's hands, I went back to the Blurb Generator and entered new key words for my WIP, and this is the result:
Still needs a lot of work, and it isn't entirely accurate, but it is a little bit closer to the real story this time.
This generator does work, though, at giving the author a better idea about what a blurb is supposed to look like and do.
I suck at blurbs.
I suck at synopsis, which is why I haven't submitted any of my work to a publisher.
It's a little embarrassing to claim myself as a writer and then admit to the world that I don't know how to write (certain things).
What isn't embarrassing is admitting to you all that I'm a lazy author who doesn't want to be bothered by any of the business aspects of our craft.
Look, the story is about two people with their own issues who meet, get into a few awkward and embarrassing situations together that make the romance aspect a bit difficult at the start. He's a retired athlete who returns home to find everything has changed except him and his past notions about why things turned out the way they did. He needs to get over that part of his life and move forward while also learning how to accept those changes. She's a mousy-appearing young lady with a stable career as a flutist for the DSO, but also suffering from past issues that continue to torment her at present. She's in the midst of contemplating a career change and takes her friend's advice to go up north and stay at that friend's house to think things through, but when she gets there, she meets the retired athlete and doesn't know what to think. He's unclean, unshaven, and looks a bit like death warmed over, but there's something underneath his unappealing exterior to give her a bit of a shake in the heartstrings department. He's smitten, too, but he knows who she is and that his little sister would likely kill him if he dared make a move on one of her friends.
Why not just read the damn novel and make up your own mind about what the story is about??
I go into too much detail! For cripe's sake, that long-winded bit of effort up there doesn't even get me past chapter three!
And, if the publisher wants a one page, double-spaced synopsis, I'm definitely screwed.
Let's try it again.
Ch 1 - Inigo retires from the Rugby team and rides back to Michigan on his motorcycle
Ch 2 - He and his oldest brother, Iliya, get into a shouting match first thing, leaving Inigo to believe nothing has changed even when he notices that the old house has changed significantly
Ch 3 - Inigo is ordered by Iliya to go down to the city and pick up their little sister's friend at the airport. He's not given a chance to shower or change, so when he picks up the cutie at the airport, she's a little wary and a lot startled by the unkempt man claiming to be her pulled-together good friend's older brother
Ch 4 - They arrive at the house and Linley is struggling to avoid developing feelings for the seemingly slobbish Inigo while also admiring her new digs and feeling instantly at home/more relaxed than ever before
Which isn't right, either.
So, I give up.
It's just that easy (for me). To give up on what frustrates the hell out of me and makes me WANT to give up without really trying.
I don't know how to be concise and I don't know what anyone in the publishing world wants or expects of me, so I just don't do it.
So, my idea of a proper synopsis to a potential publisher would read something like this:
It's a contemporary romance about two people who are as alike as they are different. They're attracted to one another but set in their ways, so it'll take time for them to snap out of it and get their shit together in the romance way of things. She'll get bogged down by a rough past and end up in jail while he'll have to grow up, realize he was wrong, and mature with grace and dignity. Then they'll have time and reason to get together.
So, I don't sweat the small stuff and work, instead, and doubly hard at writing a masterpiece with this third WIP.
The ideas keep coming, the pace keeps changing, and some of the situations I thought were terrific a few weeks ago have morphed into new and exciting plot twists.
I also now know what I'll have Inigo eventually decide to do with the rest of his life, and I'm about 75% certain as to how the two lovers are going to get together.
Today is Tuesday, so I'll be posting a Tuesday Teaser post after this one.
If anyone reading this has discovered the secret to the perfect blurb, I'd love to hear from you. And, if you also know how to summarize your 80k novel into a single page synopsis and you'd like to share that knowledge, I'll be your friend for life!