My (expletive) Thoughts on Failure

Yeah, pretty harsh if I do say so myself.

I'm frustrated, though, so (for me) it's natural to get all worked up, want to break things, and just shout every cuss word known to man.

Like, F*ck you, stupid *sshole Video Editing software for SAYING you convert files but then don't.

But, that's not MY fault, it's theirs!

They are liars who trick people like me, who don't know sh*t about editing, into thinking they are getting what they need only to find out they aren't.

And, kiss my fat *ss, Video Editing Software, for showing me how to insert clips and audio, but then when I go to upload the file to YouTube, YouTube tells me, "Nuh-uh! All this is is an Audio File. Click here to find out how to add Video to your... um... video."

Right.

Like, the 3+ hours I just spent working on what I know was VIDEO with audio added wasn't actually video?

Again, that wasn't ME being a stupid *ss but the software.

The piece of sh*t Video Editing software I had spent all day using only to end up with absolutely nothing for my time and efforts -- THAT dumb*ss Software was the problem, not me.

But, it is me in the end.

It seems that no matter what I'd like to do, the humongous task of actually doing it always stands in my way.

Sure, I'd like to write a romance novel every three months, but I'm lucky if I get half a novel done in a year.

Yes, I'd be tickled to death to see my novels on bookshelves at B&N and a library, but that means submitting my work to Publishers who want precise and accurate and guideline-consistent  summaries that I still don't quite understand how to do.

You ask for specifics, but in X amount of words and on X amount of pages, and I have yet to figure out how it's done because I keep going over, so...

I thought it would be fun, and a tiny bit lucrative to get myself out there to the furthest extents of Social Media by adding Romance Novel-themed video to my existing YouTube channel.

Yeah, that is such a horrible thing to want to do!

What a complete idiot I am to think this is a good thing and that I will succeed!

F*ck you inner voice who keeps gnawing at me to give up when I don't want to.

I truly hate days like these, and as mentioned, it makes me want to give up that much more, but even if I'm never a success at anything I set my mind to, I AM an idiot who keeps on trying.

And failing.

And trying some more.

Only to continue to fail.

But, whatever.

I know what the real problem is, and again, it isn't me and has very little to do with me as a person.

colourbox

It's money.

With money, anything is possible.

Like, being able to buy a Video Editing Software program that has all features available, no watermark, and tons of online help for idiot noobs like me.

With money, I could even buy my way into a higher social circle of friends who don't necessarily have to read my novels, much less be interested in them, but they are great at boosting sales, figuring out how to get your name and face out there, and tweaking your manuscripts ju-ust so to make them even better.

Money also helps when it comes to buying things like Ad Space on social media.

But mostly, money is just great to have for security / assurance purposes alone.

band camp

I give up, people.

But, only for today.

Tomorrow is another day, and that means another attempt at trying to do what I think is right and will be useful to me in the future.

Until then, enjoy my Sunday Night rant against the system and all things LIAR, LIAR, Plants for Hire!

You stupid f*cking b*itch of a useless piece of sh*t Video Editing Software program!

I Hate Everything: Matthew DiBenedetti