Feeding Me Isn't One of Them #MFRWauthor


Hello, again, and welcome back to another installment of the 52-Week Blog Challenge sponsored by the MFRW Author Blog.

It's Week 37 now, and today's topic of discussion is: Five Ways to Win My Heart

I can't stop cringing, sorry!

Does anyone actually care?

I doubt it, but I promised myself that I would write regardless of the topic and complete this challenge in its entirety, so...


Show me that you actually, truly, honestly care about me and my life, and you've made a reciprocating friend for life.

I was just discussing this the other day.

I can't ever recall a time in my life when the people I knew/know (including family) have ever once asked me how I'm doing, what's up with me, or if I'd like something, need anything, etc.

When I was going through my divorce, my sister blamed me for it, reiterating the fact that I'm selfish, stupid, and childish, so the divorce came as no surprise to her.

My brother phoned to say he wouldn't be allowing his wife & kids to visit anymore because he wasn't going to put them in potential harms way.

My mother said the "You made your bed," thing.

HIS father phoned to say it had to be my fault because his son wouldn't have had an affair if I'd been doing my duty as a wife.

HIS mother continues to tell my children that their mother has no fortitude and that's why their parents are divorced.

As for friends...

I always had to phone them, initiate night's outings, and always asked how they were, what they were up to, did they need anything, and so-on.

On the receiving end, not so much.

The phone hardly rang here, but when we did get together, no one ever asked about ME.

We talked all night about them, and if I ever attempted to interject about ME, an awkward silence ensued, obviously meant to convey the simple fact that no one was interested and can we get back to more important issues?

Which is why I'm lonely now, because as a result, I have no friends or a social life.

Be Helpful, but in a Nice Way

I'm always encouraged by constructive criticism and overly eager to find out why no one likes me, why no one cares, why no one reads my work, why no one from a publishing house sees my #PITMAD efforts, etc.

You can even come right out and tell me, to my face, that I'm an awful person or that I have zero talent and need to crawl into a hole and die.

Seriously, it's okay as long as you say it in a nice, HELPFUL tone of voice and not in a sardonic, snarky, Bitch, I'm so way better than you'll ever dream of being kind of way.

There's absolutely no reason to take that tone with me, and yet it happens more often than I care to think about or even mention here.

HELPFUL, for me, equates to FRIENDLY, and since I'm desperate, being helpful AND friendly will definitely win my heart.

Don't pre-judge like you've known me my whole life and can see through me like wet parchment paper because we both know it isn't true.

And, if you think you're better than me for any reason, then you're hardly the helpful sort, are you?

If YOU know I'm a mess and I know I'm a mess, and if you let ME know you're that way too and are okay with it, then you're a terrific person who has won my heart AND my respect.

Accept Me

Loners and Introverts still manage to survive in the world, but I'll hazard a guess it is a harder, more complex set of roads and mountains than for the average person.

If I'm capable of accepting the fact that you're a morning person who can't help but smile and see all the good in the world at every possible second of every single day, then I think it goes without saying that you are also capable of reciprocating on my end of the viewfinder.

And even having admitted to being an introverted loner type, that hardly means I like or even want to be by myself until I die.

There are times when I'd like to go out and have some fun with others, but I'm painfully shy and have zero social skills.

Does this mean I'm unacceptable to all circles and therefore not necessary to the mix?

"You never have a good time," and "You always seem bored," are your misperception of my absolute and overwhelming fascination with all things social.

I'm observing, overhearing, and guiding myself through a psychedelic maze of mental overload right now, so PLEASE bear with me until I find my footing, eh?


Chalk it up to a dry sense of humor, or maybe I'm just inside the autistic spectrum of things, who knows.

I just know it's frustrating, disheartening, and utterly confusing for me to be ruled out based on miscommunication and assumption.

If you take the time to learn and understand how I operate the same way I tend to go out of my way to do for others... you've definitely won my heart.

Can We Talk?

About OTHER things besides your family, your kids, and your pets?

If that is all your life centers around, I'll understand and want to hear about it, but not ALL the time in the same way I'd rather you didn't always ask me about that one part of my life I mentioned twelve years ago and nothing else.

If you're capable of discussing everything from the weather to books, the latest Pewdiepie scandal to Chinese economic standards, AND fashion week, then BOY have you won my heart!

If you're also capable of disagreeing with my outlook on everything from politics to religion to the latest social issue WITHOUT 'un'friend-ing me, I give you bonus points and consider you a true friend.

Let's Just Get Along, Shall We?

If you're a guy who can see beyond what's in it for him, you've won my heart.

If you're a guy who wants an honest relationship to include things OTHER than just sex, you've won my heart.

If you're a guy who knows he's imperfect and therefore, so am I, but it's all good regardless, you're a keeper and I want your phone number, please.

That's about relationships, though.

If you're a person and can treat me like an adult, respect me as an adult, and show me the kindness everyone on this planet deserves REGARDLESS of opinion, viewpoint, religion, or whatever... you've won my heart.

If you honestly believe in the saying: Everyone has an opinion, but that doesn't mean that everyone is right or wrong, then we need to get a little closer and make a last-ditch effort to win a Nobel Peace Prize for our Save the People efforts.

This could have been summed up with just ONE honest answer, though.



If this was supposed to be geared toward WRITING (which I still can't quite figure out) then I think I'm safe since I did mention the part about being honest but in a nice way.

Maybe my answers aren't the right ones and that's why I'm not getting the point of the topic?


I think what I'm trying to say is that my responses are a lot more inward than outward, which is why it has me on edge.


I succeeded in participating in another week of the challenge, so yay!

I still appreciate that you dropped by and read my post.

Scroll down to the Linky Link tool and follow this hop to discover what others had to say about HOW TO WIN THEIR HEART.


  1. As a fellow introvert, I can totally understand other's judging you for what they perceive you to be. I'm sorry about your family blaming your for your divorce. Just as people don't understand what happened behind closed doors, they shouldn't blame one person for the failure of a marriage. That wasn't right. I hope you stay strong and realize that some of us, me included, do listen and not everyone is a, well, an asshole. Take care!

    1. Thank you, Valerie. That is sweet. It happened a while ago, so I feel like I've cleared quite a few hurdles since then, but it was a downfall moment I've yet to fully recover from. Appreciate your reading my post!

  2. nothing wrong with being inward. Especially after those experiences. And yes, believe that somewhere people do care.

    1. Hi, Helen. Thanks! Appreciate your response and that you read my post :D Have a wonderful day!

  3. I'm sorry to hear you're so down and desperate, Raine.

    1. :( Well, I'm sorry you think that's the case, Ed :( I've never felt better or more upbeat in about a decade, though! :D Still, I thank you kindly for reading my post, and have a wonderful day!

  4. Many others don't understand the introvert. It sounds like so many have been unfair to you, Raine, and that isn't fair. I'm glad to hear you are in a good place now. And, I agree with-- Make me laugh and you've won my heart. That was on my list that didn't get posted.

  5. Your number one item hurt my heart. I'm so sorry that happened. Your family sound like a bunch of a-holes. I'm an introvert too. Most of the time I feel socially inept, but I've found people who put up with me, thank God. Congrats on a great post, and making it another week in this challenge!

  6. And issues like you've faced is why I like animals better than people sometimes. People always want to judge and look down at others. Kindness and basic common courtesy seems to be something waning in the world.

  7. My husband is an introvert (I'm the opposite). I rarely drag him to places I know will make him uncomfortable, but sometimes he just has to go (like, to the office Christmas party, for example). Then, people say, "he looks so bored", but I know he's just processing everything. I wish I could make it easier for him! (P.S. he's found some introvert Facebook groups that have helped him feel more accepted...they might help you, too.)


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