Feeding Me Isn't One of Them #MFRWauthor
BUT CARING ABOUT WHETHER I'M HUNGRY, is.
Hello, again, and welcome back to another installment of the 52-Week Blog Challenge sponsored by the MFRW Author Blog.
It's Week 37 now, and today's topic of discussion is: Five Ways to Win My Heart
I can't stop cringing, sorry!
Does anyone actually care?
I doubt it, but I promised myself that I would write regardless of the topic and complete this challenge in its entirety, so...
Show me that you actually, truly, honestly care about me and my life, and you've made a reciprocating friend for life.
I was just discussing this the other day.
I can't ever recall a time in my life when the people I knew/know (including family) have ever once asked me how I'm doing, what's up with me, or if I'd like something, need anything, etc.
When I was going through my divorce, my sister blamed me for it, reiterating the fact that I'm selfish, stupid, and childish, so the divorce came as no surprise to her.
My brother phoned to say he wouldn't be allowing his wife & kids to visit anymore because he wasn't going to put them in potential harms way.
My mother said the "You made your bed," thing.
HIS father phoned to say it had to be my fault because his son wouldn't have had an affair if I'd been doing my duty as a wife.
HIS mother continues to tell my children that their mother has no fortitude and that's why their parents are divorced.
As for friends...
I always had to phone them, initiate night's outings, and always asked how they were, what they were up to, did they need anything, and so-on.
On the receiving end, not so much.
The phone hardly rang here, but when we did get together, no one ever asked about ME.
We talked all night about them, and if I ever attempted to interject about ME, an awkward silence ensued, obviously meant to convey the simple fact that no one was interested and can we get back to more important issues?
Which is why I'm lonely now, because as a result, I have no friends or a social life.
Be Helpful, but in a Nice Way
I'm always encouraged by constructive criticism and overly eager to find out why no one likes me, why no one cares, why no one reads my work, why no one from a publishing house sees my #PITMAD efforts, etc.
You can even come right out and tell me, to my face, that I'm an awful person or that I have zero talent and need to crawl into a hole and die.
Seriously, it's okay as long as you say it in a nice, HELPFUL tone of voice and not in a sardonic, snarky, Bitch, I'm so way better than you'll ever dream of being kind of way.
There's absolutely no reason to take that tone with me, and yet it happens more often than I care to think about or even mention here.
HELPFUL, for me, equates to FRIENDLY, and since I'm desperate, being helpful AND friendly will definitely win my heart.
Don't pre-judge like you've known me my whole life and can see through me like wet parchment paper because we both know it isn't true.
And, if you think you're better than me for any reason, then you're hardly the helpful sort, are you?
If YOU know I'm a mess and I know I'm a mess, and if you let ME know you're that way too and are okay with it, then you're a terrific person who has won my heart AND my respect.
Loners and Introverts still manage to survive in the world, but I'll hazard a guess it is a harder, more complex set of roads and mountains than for the average person.
If I'm capable of accepting the fact that you're a morning person who can't help but smile and see all the good in the world at every possible second of every single day, then I think it goes without saying that you are also capable of reciprocating on my end of the viewfinder.
And even having admitted to being an introverted loner type, that hardly means I like or even want to be by myself until I die.
There are times when I'd like to go out and have some fun with others, but I'm painfully shy and have zero social skills.
Does this mean I'm unacceptable to all circles and therefore not necessary to the mix?
"You never have a good time," and "You always seem bored," are your misperception of my absolute and overwhelming fascination with all things social.
I'm observing, overhearing, and guiding myself through a psychedelic maze of mental overload right now, so PLEASE bear with me until I find my footing, eh?
Chalk it up to a dry sense of humor, or maybe I'm just inside the autistic spectrum of things, who knows.
I just know it's frustrating, disheartening, and utterly confusing for me to be ruled out based on miscommunication and assumption.
If you take the time to learn and understand how I operate the same way I tend to go out of my way to do for others... you've definitely won my heart.
Can We Talk?
About OTHER things besides your family, your kids, and your pets?
If that is all your life centers around, I'll understand and want to hear about it, but not ALL the time in the same way I'd rather you didn't always ask me about that one part of my life I mentioned twelve years ago and nothing else.
If you're capable of discussing everything from the weather to books, the latest Pewdiepie scandal to Chinese economic standards, AND fashion week, then BOY have you won my heart!
If you're also capable of disagreeing with my outlook on everything from politics to religion to the latest social issue WITHOUT 'un'friend-ing me, I give you bonus points and consider you a true friend.
Let's Just Get Along, Shall We?
If you're a guy who can see beyond what's in it for him, you've won my heart.
If you're a guy who wants an honest relationship to include things OTHER than just sex, you've won my heart.
If you're a guy who knows he's imperfect and therefore, so am I, but it's all good regardless, you're a keeper and I want your phone number, please.
That's about relationships, though.
If you're a person and can treat me like an adult, respect me as an adult, and show me the kindness everyone on this planet deserves REGARDLESS of opinion, viewpoint, religion, or whatever... you've won my heart.
If you honestly believe in the saying: Everyone has an opinion, but that doesn't mean that everyone is right or wrong, then we need to get a little closer and make a last-ditch effort to win a Nobel Peace Prize for our Save the People efforts.
This could have been summed up with just ONE honest answer, though.
MAKE ME LAUGH AND YOU'VE WON MY HEART
If this was supposed to be geared toward WRITING (which I still can't quite figure out) then I think I'm safe since I did mention the part about being honest but in a nice way.
Maybe my answers aren't the right ones and that's why I'm not getting the point of the topic?
I think what I'm trying to say is that my responses are a lot more inward than outward, which is why it has me on edge.
I succeeded in participating in another week of the challenge, so yay!
I still appreciate that you dropped by and read my post.
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